With The Truth
by sbyamibakura
Summary: Snarry, AU during year seven. Due to Harry's being put in detention so much he, Ron, and Hermione decide to play a devious trick on Snape. But who is really being tricked in all this?


With the Truth

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling, Warner Bros and various other people who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer and not me. (Though if it _were _me, Jacob would have imprinted on Edward and nice slashy things would occur.)

Warning: Rated T for language, slashyness, Sparkly things, references to Twilight, crack!fic, etc.

Pairing: Snarry (Snape/Harry), implied Sirius/Remus, Grindewald/Dumbledore, Hagrid/Madame Maxime, McGonagall/Fleur, Ron/Hermione, etc.

Setting: AU Seventh Year; HBP only happened in that Harry found the Half Blood Prince's potions book and Dumbledore and Sirius haven't died.

Summary: Due to Harry's being put in detention so much he, Ron, and Hermione decide to play a devious trick on Snape. But who is really being tricked in all this?

: :: :

"Uh...I'm not sure this is such a good idea, after all." Harry said, glancing around furtively.

"You're the one who suggested it to begin with!"

"Yeah well...I wasn't thinking clearly. I mean, seriously, are we really going to raid Snape's office? It's different than just taking some ingredients for a highly illegal potion to transform into someone else..."

"..."

"I can't believe I am saying this, but...Harry you need to lighten up!" Hermione exclaimed, pushing some of her bushy hair behind her. "You've been really tense lately. We understand that Snape seems to be riding you awfully hard lately, but-"

"What?" Harry squeaked, turning beet red. "Snape, he w-what? I don't think you understa-"

"It's okay, Harry," Ron said placatingly. "We all know how much of a tight arse Snape is, always thrusting his hatred on you, making you come to detention so much, come back at all times of the night. It's unfair that he exhausts you so much!"

Harry lets out a little squeak.

"You know I'm not usually for these sorts of things, but..." said Hermione. "It's only fair to give him a little payback for him giving it to you so roughly these past few weeks, right?"

If Harry could have melted into the floor in that moment, then he gladly would have.

"I mean, you don't even have time to try and date or anything either!" said Ron. "Instead you have Snape's big nose up in your face all the time."

"..." Harry didn't facepalm, but it was a close thing. "A-anyway, if we're going to do this let's hurry up and do it."

They had to take their time under the Invisibility Cloak as they went down the many hallways in the school; since they had all grown so much, if they went too quickly someone would catch glimpses of them under the Cloak. The air got steadily colder as they made their way to the dungeons where Severus Tobias Snape made his home.

They come to a halt in front of a simple enough looking door. But as it was the office of the devious Potions Master, they could take no chances. Hermione takes out her wand, waving it in what seemed to be certain patterns, muttering under her breath.

"His wards are...strong," she murmurs.

"But you can get past them right?" Ron asks, looking at his girlfriend.

She gives him a deadpan look. "Ronald, I am the brains of this series; what do you think?"

"Dumb question?"

"Kinda."

"That's our Hermione!"

She smiles and waves her wand in a line, a stream of silver sparkles flying from it. The door seemed to almost shudder. "Alright! There we are!"

She pushes the door open and they walk inside. It was dark, so Harry takes out his wand. "Lumos!"

"Surprise!"

"Ahh!"

Harry falls on his arse as he sees a collection of people all gathered together in what was most definitely not Snape's office, and most definitely the Room of Requirement.

"What the-!"

Ron and Hermione help him up and he gapes as he sees the banner that had been put up.

It said: _Congratulations on your totally __sexy __wrong relationship with Professor Snape!_

In the room were all kinds of people; Sirius (who was busy crying and being consoled by Professor Lupin; "Why'd he have to pick such a greasy prick! Person! I meant person!"), Fred and George (who _totally _didn't have relationships that people knew about), Professor Dumbledore (who was snuggling up with Grindewald-Grindewald had reformed his ways years ago after Dumbledore declared that they couldn't see each other anymore if Grindewald "kept being a meanie."), Tonks, Moody, Hagrid, Madame Maxime (who was expecting her and Hagrid's first child in a few months a.k.a The Biggest Baby Ever), all of the Quidditch teams, most of the teachers (including McGonagall who was getting awfully cosy with Fleur Delacour), as well as some people from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff...and even Slytherin!

"How did you uh..."

"Find out?" said Hermione.

"Yeah. That."

"Long story. But we're here to support you, Harry." she says, smiling.

"You guys-!" He turns to Ron. "You're really okay with this?"

"As much as I'm ever going to be." replied Ron. "I might have bashed my head into a wall about thirty times, sobbed like a baby in Hermione's arms, went through all the stages of Grief and thought about legally changing my name and running away, but yeah...I'm okay."

They turn as someone comes up to them.

"So _there_ is the star of this little...gathering," Draco Malfoy said, smirking evilly. "We've been waiting on you, Potter."

"Er..."

Draco rolls his eyes. "Eloquent, as always aren't we?" Geez, did he take lessons from Professor Snape or something? Well Snape _was _close with Draco's parents after all...

The Slytherin turns his head, snapping his fingers. "Crabbe! Goyle! Bring in my present to Harr-Potter."

That was another thing; mid-sixth year, after another stupid altercation they realized what jerks they were being and buried the hatchet and had since become really good friends. Though the majority of the school didn't know that...Draco Malfoy had an image to maintain, after all.

Everyone turns as Crabbe and Goyle open doors on the other side of the room.

"We got them vampires you wanted, Draco!" exclaimed Crabbe.

"They have got to be worth some money too!" guffawed Goyle. "I mean, they're all _sparkly._"

Immediately everyone in the room became very, very silent.

"Crabbe..." Draco says slowly. "Just _where _did you say you found these vampires at?"

"Some place called _Forks! _I wonder if they have any place called _Knife and Spoon! _Ha ha!"

Everyone closes their eyes for a moment as a huge collection of sparkles burst into the room.

Silence.

"Oh my god, nooooooooo!" Harry exclaims. "I'd rather play Russian Roulette with Voldemort!"

"That can be arranged!" said Voldemort, gleefully. Where on Earth did he come from...?

Harry turns around and starts to run out the door when he bumps into someone.

"Sev!"

"Potter! What's wrong?" Snape asks, looking from Harry to the room.

"C-Crabbe and Goyle brought in...in..." He points to the sparkly abominations in the middle of the room.

Snape takes one look at them, before looking at Harry and grabbing him, running off.

"Thanks for the party!" Harry yells. He turns to Severus. "Where are we going?"

"To Transylvania! They know all the ways to kill vampires!"

Harry snuggles against Snape. "Are you going to fly into a giant bat and fly us there?"

"Twenty points for cheek, Potter."

"I'd rather have detention, if it's all the same to you."

Snape smirks. "I think that can be arranged."

: :: :

- End -

A/N: This is for my good friend Annie. I didn't start out trying to write crack!fic, but alas that's how it turned out. XP (Also, as a side note no one probably cares about...it took forever to think of a title for this thing! lol)

I hope you all enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


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